The Broken-Hearted Girl.

A permanent state of mind.

Sometimes you don't always get what you wish for. You might say that some of us never get what we wish for. True - it's always the other person you watch with intense envy that has everything that they could ask for, while you sit by and watch as your dreams hang over your head like steel bricks.

It's always that other person with the excellent grades.
It's always that other person with a partner to look out for her.
It's always that other person who gets along with every new person she meets.
It's always that other person who charms everyone who sees her without even trying.
It's always that other person who has travelled the world.
It's always that other person with a beautiful story.
It's always the other person with a group of friends who love her for everything she is.

It's always that other person who loves herself for who she is.

It's always that other person.

That other fucking person.

And then you think to yourself. Why am I different from her? Why does she have it so easy? Why can't that be me?

Because you can't. You're sitting here thinking about the whys and the hows when the answers are right in front of you. She's prettier than you, she doesn't make a fool of herself, she has the most beautiful personality, she loves everything unique about other people.

And she's perfect.

You? Why, your flaws are aplenty. Look at yourself - you're ugly, you lie about yourself, you lie about other people, you try so hard to get people to like you, you grovel at the sight of what you can't have, you make ridiculous statements that are completely uncalled for, and you basically bore us with your mere presence.

It's a good thing tears never show in the pouring rain
As if a good thing ever could make up for all the pain
There'll be no last chance, I promise to never mess it up again
And now you're gone there's like an echo in my head
And I remember every word you said
It's a hard thing faking a smile when I feel like I'm falling apart inside
And I am helpless sometimes, wishing's just no good
And you don't see me like I wish you would

I remember this song.

It was the beginning of my troubles.

Cheers.