Thee shall have no communication with those inferior.
Thee shall not give praise to nor receive praise from those who are evil.
Thee shall not be vulnerable to those who mean harm.
Thee shall not give a total fuck.
Moving on was a crucial part of me taking control of my life, and everything beautiful I had in it : friends, fun, and family. I feel somewhat silly because I never knew what I had until ... it was gone.
Okay, no - it never left to begin with. I meant to say - I never knew what I had until everything else superficial - crumbled. Into tiny toxic little pieces. Leaving behind the most resplendent jewel ever found, once caked with mud and silt that used to shine under light.
At the end of everything, I feel totally free, totally liberated. Like as if a burden - that I had layed upon myself - was lifted, and destroyed.
The only thing left to do now is to maintain that degree of nonchalance. Oh, have I practised - playing out scenes in my head just to see how my mind, and my heart, react to them. And I can confirm that in a hypothetical situation, I am pretty prepared.
Playing out a scene where Sheep and Skankman are touching each other and making out, I am totally void of feelings for him. And playing out another scene with me and someone else, I feel nothing. All I have to do now is to put it to the real test. In a real situation. Where there isn't any other thought or vision I can focus onto to avoid any feelings.
If I have to learn one thing from any of this, it is that there is no room for forgiveness.
I must not forgive.
I must not forgive.
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