We Make Plans.

So you can break them for us.

Maybe if I put more time and effort into the things that actually need work on, I might get somewhere. Like the definite things in life that need no reciprocal action from others. Things that I can accomplish on my own without having to involve others. Things I have put aside to fulfill at a later date, that could easily be dealt with at this point in time.

Things that I don't want to worry about.

But it's the things that aren't within my power I want to grab the reigns of and hold close to me. Until nothing fazes me. Until I become fearless. Until I don't have anymore reason to expect it and wait for help. I will no longer need people to keep me company, to keep me sane.

To keep me alive.

That's what it means to be powerful, doesn't it? To be able to hold yourself steady when everyone else is dying like daisies. To control over your emotions in their entirety and manipulate them as a separate being. To have the ability to mind fuck as many people as you can, without even trying.

To hold the world as if it was your own.

But there is an irony to it. The hunger for power inevitably destroys it. The more you are starved of it, the more it validates your internal wars. The more it tells you to do what's wrong, for the sake of what's personally right. The more it heightens your ability to seek and annihilate, and wound those who can help you overcome your addiction.

Until you reach its pinnacle.

And it's at the pinnacle where you realise that there is no pinnacle. There is no peak. It's a never-ending climb to the infinite end. Why? Because you want it that way. The peak is never enough. You will reach that virtual end and then think - how is there not more of this? Wasn't I promised more?

I could make this taller if I was in charge of the pinnacle.

And then you continue to climb and climb and climb and try your best to satisfy yourself, until you disappear beyond the thick clouds. Drunk of power.

And dead from it.

Cheers.