Sunglasses.

Hide my eyes from the sun, and the pain from my eyes.

I can't be fucked to be cryptic right now, or poetic, or quite simply type this post out in riddles. I have a few people I would love to talk to right about now, but they are either unavailable or can't really be bothered to offer me the level of comfort that I am looking for right now.

I suppose at this point, all I have to offer are couldas, wouldas, and shouldas. (Read : The could-haves, would-haves, and should-haves.)

First of all, I shoulda listened to my gut feeling. There is someone I know who has an uncanny sense of instinct, and she told me that that little voice in my head is almost always right. But I hate myself so much for not being able to talk to her about anything, simply because I know she worries her life away because of me and she really doesn't need anymore of my issues to think about.

The one person I know who could sort my life out, is the one person I couldn't bear to tell.

I like how funny life thinks it is.

From the second I saw you walk away, I remember that voice in my head telling me that this would end soon. It would all be over. But I decided to waste a week of my life, hoping it was wrong. I decided to waste a week of thoughts on you. A week of giving you that little bit of faith to you that you hardly deserved. A week of waiting on you to show me that you wanted me as much as I wanted you. A week of thinking that you could be worth anymore than what you really are.

A week of lies.

Second, I shoulda seen it coming. I should have remembered exactly why I was attracted to you. I should have linked it to that little box of bad memories in my head. I should have predicted your next move. I should have realised that this could have never ended well.

Third, I shoulda learnt by now to keep my body and my feelings separate. Loosely translated to mean, I should have fucked your hot ass so many times over without ever thinking of you as a human being with real feelings.

After all, up until now, that's all you see in me.

I think it's safe to say that at this point, my life needs a bit of a clean up. I've got to get rid of the toxic people in my life, the people who cause nothing but issues that I have to deal with. All this pretty much includes bitches who lack maturity, bastards who can't be bothered to treat me as more than a piece of meat, and everyone else who I trust more than they trust me.

Because I shouldn't need to have to sort my life out as well as yours at the same time.

Cheers.