It's An Hour To Another Year.

As we speak, I have an hour till my birthday. Yes, another year of new orange peel, pimples and basking in the fires of hell. It's all going to change. And then again.

So, first of all, let's get the resolutions done. Quite right, the ones we never keep to. Well, in that case I would be the last person to keep to my resolutions because I never keep to anything else that other people usually keep to. And that said, there really isn't a point of me making resolutions and it's a complete waste of time. But I enjoy wasting my time! And everything I do is basically a waste of time and -

Stop. Rambling.

RESOLUTION 1 : Stop rambling.

And there is nil chance I'm keeping to that.

So next resolution ... Ooh, I think I've just had an epiphany! Listen : if people make resolutions that they can't keep to, why don't we make ones that we are going to keep anyway?!

I should seriously write a self-help book. Fabulous idea.

So, here goes. RESOLUTION 2 : Stay bitchy.

Guaranteed to keep to that one. Ok, let's try another.

RESOLUTION 3 : ...

Ok, there's really nothing else I can do well other than being bitchy. Which is not exactly an achievement but it works.

So, two resolutions sound good enough. With that I shall retire to my chambers - the one where imported satin hangs from the ceiling. Because my fur coat is just too heavy.

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