The World Of Magic.

Because your real life is tragic.

There was a reason I started this blog, and an even bigger reason why I call it Twisted Tragedies. And yes, it is because I like to tell my readers about chocolate and romance and friendship and how the world spins on love.

Note to self : International anarchy is not massive world chaos.

Note to self : I have no idea what I am doing.

This static I am floating in will get the better of me. One of these days it is going to swallow me up and I will find a nice comfortable spot on its sticky wall to stay permanently. Or I could just blog about it right now, in hopes of finding someone capable enough to save me.

Or bothered, for that matter.

There were six people seated at the table in front of me. But they weren't human. They were fashion hybrids - who look human but ooze more style than the entire House of Chanel during Fashion Week. And out of this group were two individuals who looked like they pioneered wearing clothes. The girl had a sheer burgundy off-shoulder sweater over a black tank top, tight black jeggings with pointed stud detail at the knees, 6-inch black ankle boots and a black feather bolero jacket. And the guy had on a grey hoodie, black leather jacket, black skinnies and Dr Martens. She had her brown hair in a braid and he had his long black hair loose.

And if they hadn't inspired me enough, the way they behaved with each other did. It was their romance. Granted, they did step outside for a smoke but it was the way they did it. One running out holding the hand of the other, and both leaning against the wall in a loving cuddle. The next second they engage in a deep kiss while their hands are protectively wrapped around each others' waist.

All while dressed like they just stepped off a runway.

And I sit here at the other end of the restaurant, watching them. Observing them. Being incredibly jealous of them. And suddenly being so inspired by them. I see their movement in a frame by frame motion of a steady camera, each one dramatically capturing a different emotion within them.

And that's what I want. That excitement. That vigour for life. The way you get up every morning to do what you want to do and love to do. The way you walk past people with that smile across your face. The way you can't stop thinking about that one person, and they can't stop thinking about you. The way the little things in life stop upsetting you. The way the sunlight seems to follow you everywhere you walk.

The way I need to feel.

But the way I don't.

I suppose impatience has taken over me, because I have only had one month on my own, although it seems like it's been eternity. But I didn't expect things to kind of come to a stop around me. People have stopped being happy for each other, people have stopped wanting to know each other.

People have stopped pretending to remember you.

But people have also been getting warmer. A little closer. A little more comfortable. And it would be wrong for me to say that I have not experienced some solace, or even some protection from this. And it would also be wrong for me to say that this situation is going to last forever. The truth is, I am hoping it will last a very very long time. But that is never the case. I am going to say something to fuck this up. I am going to do something that will make you angry, or suspicious or even fear me. I am going to destroy whatever we have.

You need to realise what exactly I want from you. I want to support you in all your romantic endeavours, I want to be proud of you, I want to be a shoulder for you to cry on. Because someday I am going to need that too. And I hope that you are the right person I should be asking this of.

But until such time I know I am going to be worrying about whether I have you on my team (also known as my one-man army) or if you're just here for the ride. I am going to drive myself mad hoping that I have been the best person that I can. And I really really hope I don't fuck this up.

Cheers.