For weeks on end, I complained about the Confusion. That sorry frame of mind I had lapsed into to determine my desires and expectations of my world, or perhaps just to escape that terrible static around my being.
I probably thought hiding in my own little shell called Confusion was a great excuse to ... well, freeze my time, so to speak. It would allow me to just retreat from this high - speed motion and watch everything pass slowly by me. Like a soul waiting for judgement, that has just been robbed from its body - and its mind refreshed by all the memories flooding back into it.
And then my shell collapsed. While I was still in it.
In fact, I should say that I had help cracking it. I had two people stand right there and help bring me out of this casing I had retreated into for so long.
I had my Rock, who is always there for me and God bless her soul, because just when I needed a hand to support my frail body, she gave me two.
And then there is a new person, who broke the shell. Who simply took that hammer and struck the layer of fragile glass surrounding me. In one amazing feat, I was free. Free from those lies and mistakes and excuses that was keeping me hidden. And so I call him Slayer of Broken Truth.
And now I am in this static again. It feels somewhat weird to be back, but at least I know I can feel again. And lies don't blind me from my idiocy anymore.
At least until the next shell builds itself. Until the next Confusion.
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