What You Need.

Is not what you have.

Previously I discussed this notion of time and why we are not supposed to ever learn its intricacies. And that we are controlled by something we don't even understand, but it's the one thing we are sure of in this life.

Time. That's what it takes to know a person. To discover what is behind the facade of happiness and joy. To learn what it is that really makes that one person shine brighter than all the rest. To realise that you wished you never met that person in the first place.

Time. To make a good impression. To prove to that person that you're worthy of their attention. To let that person know that you're more than you appear to be. To dispel all the vicious rumours about yourself and tell that person the truth. To convince them that you're not a waste of time.

Time. That's what it takes to fall in love. It's seconds for some, an instant reaction somewhere within that brain mass of theirs that is going to determine their life path. And for others, in or out of denial, it could take years. Years before they realise the one they were looking for was right in front of them all this while. And some people never find love. They are so caught up with themselves and everything material and monetary, that they manage to be spared from the torture of one of the most powerful feelings in the world.

Time. Before you know your love train has derailed and is speeding into the wall of heartbreak. You could quite simply open the window and roll yourself out, far away from danger. Or you might not even know it's happening so you stay on, dreaming of marriage and children. Or you could simply strap yourself in, turn up the screamo, light a good spliff and hope to die quickly.

Very, very quickly.

Time. To understand who you are. Forget understanding other people. It could take forever to even comprehend your own behaviour. Why you cry when you have failed. Why you don't cry when you have failed. Why you wish so hard for something you won't even care about once you have it. Why you pretend to love someone so they can give it back to you. Why your pity turns into annoyance because you didn't realise how much effort it needed. Why you make people hate you.

Time. To realise that they didn't care much about you in the first place. That they didn't actually want to talk to you. That they didn't even know you existed. That they don't quite bother if you live or die. But they act like they do. They act like you mean the world to them. Why? It needs as much explanation as its boundary itself.

Time. Before the thrill of watching that person walk by you is over. All this while, they don't even remember your name or how they know you. Neither do they even want to look up at you when you pass. But it's thrilling still. To see them. Watch them move past you into someone else's arms. And stare back at you like they suddenly care. But the clock ticks, time passes, and those moments become memories. Only memories.

Time. To realise you're wasting it. Because you are so blinded by ecstasy and the illusion of happiness, you won't realise you're draining the sands of time until it's finished. You could have spent your hours of thinking on someone else. You could have given a chance to another. You could have changed your life.

Time. Before you lose the one you love the most. Partners in crime, friends in freedom. You love each other less like lovers, more like sisters. That bond stronger than steel is broken by the abstract of time. In a single swipe of the hand. Time is so strong and so invisible, you won't see them fade away from you, but it doesn't mean they're haven't.

Time.

It's ticking against you.

Cheers.