No One Nose.

And they all pretend to.


I've missed this blog. Ever since my computer was admitted into hospital - for a chronic case of blackouts - I have restrained myself from visiting this place. It's weird. How something so virtual as the internet can provide me with a little bit of hope to look forward to at the end of the day. How all I want to think about is posting in this blog.


How I'm so far from here, and yet so near.


When people want to shout instead of speak, or ignore my calls, or flood me with their own trivial problems whilst completely disregarding mine - it is this little twenty by ten box I return to. To speak of what bothers my core, or what I fear the most, or what I dare to dream - when no one else wants to care.


And tears. Tears are nothing more than mere expressions of an inner sorrow that no one wants to be seen with. No one wants to have to deal with the heavy burden of harmless drops of water. Oh, the irony.


How can I explain this to you without you jumping the gun on me as the 'girl who thinks she has a whole bunch of problems, including the lack of attention.' How can I convince you that I am suffering from something akin to a mental disorder (god forbid it really is) and for which people take medication for by the funnel. How I can tell people that this tension is testing the extremes of my emotional strength.


And we only have so much.


And the worst part is - people THINK they know. And when people assume - it leads to the creation of an even bigger problem within itself, apart from making an Ass out of U and Me. People believe that they are the only ones with the biggest looming dark cloud ever; this excludes me because it is you who bothers to read this horrible site about horrible things happening to horrible people.


People like to think that the world revolves around them. People like to not listen when something has been said to you like a mantra. People like to make stupid remarks even while quite basically a ceiling has collapsed onto your head. For instance :


'Hey. Um, did a ceiling collapse on your head? Oh dear, thank god I'm OK. Oh ... what's that you say ... your brain has spilled out because your skull has split open right between your eyes? Nah ... it can't be that bad ... Oh, well I guess it is. Um, sorry. Hope you feel better. Isn't great to talk to someone like me?'


Exactly.


I am just counting the days until I arrive at a day with a relatively good ending, or in fact a good run throughout. But till then, I'm stuck wishing for things I shouldn't be wishing for and blogging about things people have already read, just in a different syntax.


Seriously - good luck to you guys.


Because I'm already gone.


Cheers.


* PS. There just might be an escape from this blog. Only time will tell ...